An insight into my hijab journey

Hey my loves! I want to discuss something that people online have been raising questions and issues about my hijab (scarf) and how I portray it on social media. This isn’t a hate post where I’ll complain, but its a chance for those who don’t wear the hijab or don’t understand to see where i’m coming from and as always i’ll be 100% honest. I also want to talk about my journey into wearing it full time out and about and some of the issues I face with modest clothing.

If you follow me on my Instagram you’ll notice that I have my hair out in some of the older posts and people have asked whether I’ve just started wearing it now and some have been really mean calling me all sorts of things from “hypocrite” to “whore” to “part time hijabi”. I’ve heard it all. Im not mad at these comments but I think it comes from frustration or confusion and the mentality that once you choose to wear a hijab that’s it. You cant ever show your hair. Sometimes when I look at someone’s feed and they inconsistently wear a hijab I feel a tiny bit uncomfortable too but never to the extent where I would call them such horrible names. That’s bullying. Therefore, to these comments both the hateful and curious one’s I say that im going to keep these pictures solely because  I think they showcase makeup at a time where i didn’t always wear a hijab and its a look that I just cant recreate, I got lucky, but unfortunately im not wearing a scarf and that’s that.

Looking back to when I was a teenager if I remember correctly I started to wear the hijab in year 7. For the wrong reasons unfortunately and not realising what a massive decision it is and what it means by wearing it. Embarrasingly i’ll admit that I only wore a hijab when I couldn’t figure out how to style my hair. So as soon as I found a new hairstyle I took it off and when I get bored I started to wear it. The cycle continued until year 9 when I was taught what is required of me as a young muslim woman. I also felt stupid and bad when I heard school kids calling me a part time hijabi and i’ll also admit that I wore the hijab again (this time for permanent) so I could feel better and not be made fun of. I wasn’t exactly pressured by my family, I don’t remember my mom telling me you need to wear the hijab. It was my peer pressured, “i need to do this because everyone else is and I want to be a good muslim” 14 year old decision that I thought was great at the time.

Moving onto teenagehood I struggled between wanting to wear loose off the shoulder tops and cute knee high boots and tousled hair and then wanting to wear an abaya and then wanting to wear cute Asian clothes. I was stuck between these different personalities and I didn’t know which one to choose and who I was really. On special occasions I always took my hijab off so it still wasn’t permanent. In a professional environment for example interviews, university presentations or assessment centre’s I feel like I stand out so much. I remember being at an assessment centre in the summer where I was the only hijabi there and I was constantly thinking, “i hope they take me seriously” again and again and again. It was all rubbish and in my head, yet I felt so different and sort of, “not fitting in”.

I realised that if I feel like this then it must mean im struggling and I need to have a reason to wear it and be happy choosing this. Before I started my blog, I made it my mission to be absolutely consistent and always wear a hijab in every selfie so im putting out a consistent image of myself. I also did some further research as to what a hijab would protect me from, why we’ve been asked to do this and imagined who i would be without a hijab. And i came to the conclusion that i would be someone else, i wouldnt be me. My behaviour would change, my dress sense, the way i carry myself, the way i speak even. I absolutely hated the idea of being someone else, my hijab is my identity, my personality and i wouldn’t change it for the world. Eventually I founded the right reason and was happy with it too!

The issues i have with modest clothing

Quite often i find myself struggling to find modest clothing that i love and i feel confident and glamorous in. Wearing a hijab isnt just restricted to covering your hair, its becoming modest in all aspects for example clothing. Sometimes i see a modest clothing brand on Instagram and i get so excited until i see the price and just get taken aback at how utterly ridiculous it is. I dont understand the thought process behind the pricing when modest, stylish clothing should be so easily accessible. So if there are any modest clothing brands out there or are reading this please do keep the customer in mind and make modest clothing just as easy to shop for like regular clothing!

Its still a struggle at times where im tempted to take a selfie with my hair out and I still have a long way to go. Its a learning process that so many hijabi’s can connect and bond over and its beautiful. Let me know if you have any further questions and be sure to follow my blog for instant email notifications whenever I post!

See you in my next post Queens!

Love from Sahibah x

 

 

Purple makeup look

Hey my loves! Since we’re heading towards the festive season i thought to create a colourful purple smokey eye using the Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette. If you havent already read the detailed review i’ll link it here, and as mentioned before i really wanted to experiment with this palette as its not something i reach out for everyday but i really love how the looks using this palette have come out so far!

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FULL PRODUCT DETAILS:

BASE

  • Dior skin star foundation in 020 mixed with Too Faced Born this way Foundation in Warm Nude (a pump of each I use very little foundation)
  • Cream Contour using the sleek contour kit in medium and Cocoa matchstix from Fenty Beauty
  • Maybelline age rewind concealer in Nude
  • Too Faced born this way concealer in Light to highlight
  • Kat Von D shade and light face palette to contour and set the under eye as well as the rest of the face
  • Mac blush in Peaches
  • Iconic London strobing stick in Glow with Kiko Milano water eyeshadow in 208 on top for a powder highlight

EYES

  • Kiko Milano eyebrow expert kit in Medium and the LA girl Pro Conceal to shape the brows as well as using it a base for the eyeshadow
  • Eden, Amber and Oud from the Huda Beauty Eyeshadow palette used in the crease
  • Amethyst and Royal used in the centre and Nefertiti used in the inner part of the eye
  • Demure Lashes in Adore
  • Benefit rollerlash used for the lower lashes

Lips

  • Boldly Bare lipliner by Mac with Hepburn Honey by Charlotte Tillbury applied on top

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See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

Huda Beauty Desert Dusk review

Capturing the shimmering dunes and lights of a desert at dusk, Huda Beauty has released another majestic eye shadow palette to her line. The vibrant shades inspired by the mysterious desert landscape had me falling head over heels and utterly in love. As with any eye shadow palette I begin working out what the crease and transition colours are and imagining what looks to create, but I was just so  blown away by how vibrant the shades are. Very few palettes excite me but this sparked a creativity in me like never before and that’s when you know its pretty damn special. The palette was available on Cult Beauty for £56, ( exactly the same price as her previous palette). As usual i’ll be giving my honest opinion about whether its truly worth the hefty price tag as well as comparing it to her previous palette!

Packaging

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I love how Huda and her team took on board the complaints/suggestions her customers have said over her first palette, for example people wanted a mirror and I felt the same way too and the palette felt light and flimsy  so people felt like it wasn’t worth the £56 (which in my opinion is quite a lot for an eyeshadow palette). A lot of effort and consideration generally can be seen because the packaging is so beautiful. Waking up and seeing an intoxicating Arabian princess on your vanity staring right back at you on a gloomy day is just so different and genius. Also, when compared to the Rose Gold, the palette feels a lot more sturdy and heavy and she’s also included a mirror (thank the lord) so I’m glad she took on board what we wanted and it shows that she took our concerns seriously!

Swatches

For £56 you are getting:

– 8 Mattes

– 6 Pressed Pearls

– Three duo chrome toppers

– One pure glitter ( I’ll be sharing  a funny/heartbreaking story about this shade further on in the review!)

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Some of the mattes for example Saffron were a little patchy and difficult to swatch however I was perfectly pleased with the rest including all the pressed pearls and duo chrome toppers that im so excited to create looks with. However, the heartbreak with Cosmo was that I wasn’t entirely aware that its a complete loose glitter in the pan so as I turned the palette over to read some information on the back I heard something fell… And it was at that moment my heart dropped and saw the pan completely empty and a bunch of glitter on the floor. I was so annoyed. I did scrape it off the floor and pat it in but I think there should have been some sort of protective layer, the paper provided isn’t enough to hold the glitter in place because it moves around. I genuinely think for a high price there should have been something to stop the glitter from moving its just my opinion but if I hadn’t have saved cosmo I would’ve been one angry customer😩

The look I created and posted on my Instagram was a halo eye.

1) Eden was used for a transition shade along with Musk to deepen the crease.

2) I then used Oud in the inner corner and outer corner to create the halo shape. To soften the edges I mixed Desert Sand and the tiniest amount of Musk.

3) Saffron and Amber were used to deepen and define the halo in the same areas I used Oud. In the centre I first packed on Nefertiti and then applied glitter glue on top. I then applied Cosmo using a small synthetic packing brush.

4) On the lower lashline I used the same shades but using more Oud on the outer eye. Nefertiti was used as a inner corner highlight and using a angled liner I applied saffron in my inner waterline and I really liked how it looked

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The only issue I had was that some of the matte shades were a little patchy, when on the eye and swatches. For example when I layered similar colours such as Amber and Saffron to deepen and define I noticed skin still peeking through so I had to reapply and it was if the colour had disappeared or seperated. The problem with that is you end up adding more and more so it can turn into an unblended mess. Cosmo and Nefertiti applied nicely and there was a strong deposit of colour so I was happy with that. I will be creating more creative looks on my instagram so follow me if you don’t already so you don’t miss out!

One thing that really stood out and I admired was the campaign for this launch. If you haven’t watched the first look already on Huda’s Instagram i’ll link it here because it is jaw dropping. Im really loving the amount of effort digital influencers and bloggers with their own makeup lines are putting into their launches its incredible to see. Everything from the location, to the addictive music, the cinematography blew me away its one of my favourite launch videos to date. The genius idea of having a global snapchat filter to itensify the hype even further just made me admire Huda and her team even more. Their raw passion is so inspiring and uplifting and im excited to see what more Huda Beauty has to offer!

Final Verdict: Is it for me?

You ladies know that my reviews are a textbook long so to wrap this up I feel that if you want to push yourself experimenting with deep reds and purples, and playing with different textures and possibly scraping off glitter off the floor then this palette is for you. It gets my creative juices flowing and makes me want more to experiment with different coloured glitters, as opposed to my usual golds and silvers and get out of my comfort zone a little bit. It wont really be my everyday go to palette because I did try using Eden with Oud and I didn’t really like how it looked so i’ll be sticking with the Rose Gold. Its a palette to explore your creativity and have fun with but not really something i would be choosing to wear everyday.

I hope you found this review useful let me know if you have any questions. See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

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