Hey my loves! I decided to talk about heartbreak and share some suggestions in how to deal with such a difficult situation. Now, this was the most requested topic as i try to help as many as i can with this issue so my apologies in advance if this turns into a 5000 word essay. A short disclaimer before i start, this post is aimed at any sort of romantic relationship married or unmarried, im not encouraging “haram” relationships. I support those with good intentions and those who are prepared to make it work. In this day and age, who hasnt been in one, but the purpose of this is to just to help and become a better person and hopefully to see the right way for themselves.
Im no stranger to relationships and over time ive developed ways to get over “it” and make the situation less damaging than it already is. Even though these suggestions are personal, i feel like they can be applied to whatever reason the relationship ended.
1) Acceptance
The most basic step to move forward is when you feel as if your drowning, when you feel lifeless. when everything around you feels so dark and so bleak, accepting that your in this situation and you may be like this for a while, is the first step to recovery. Coming to terms with whats happened takes time but accepting it is so so important. Dont be in denial. For example, if you’ve been cheated on, dont carry on as if everythings normal and as if your partner hasnt done anything wrong. Acceptance is recovery. Also, accepting your feelings, the fact that your in pain is equally important. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CRY. I cant emphasise that enough. Cry in your bed, cry at the park, cry when your eating but dont hold it in thinking your strong and you dont need to cry over someone. Thinking that bottles up your anger and pain and trust me on this, its gonna come out one day and it will be nasty.
2) Dont think all is lost
This is me saying this from a very personal experience. So when you lose someone i can agree that you feel as if your life has ended, everything loses its purpose and nothing matters anymore. When you lie on your bed, catatonic, and the pillow is drenched with tears i fully understand how we think all is lost. There is no easy way to get out of this. Personally, i sleep a lot by taking a bunch of painkillers waking up and doing the same and it carries on until staying awake doesnt hurt anymore (I completely dont recommend this btw). However sleeping it out used to help me, by sleeping i didnt have to face reality. In this situation you have to find something that works for you, but for the love of God, please think of your health when finding a solution. All is not lost. Remember, before your partner you were someone, you had a family, a life and you can still be that same person. It all however depends on how strong you are to go back to being that person.
3) Talk to someone
You might have heard of this a million times but talking is the best cure. But it doesnt have to be the same person. I used to feel that i was annoying my friends by letting out my feelings ( it was all in my head of course) I used to turn to my family. Of course it depends on the situation, some situations are as such that you cant tell your family. But saying something like, “i feel so lost” or ” i cant ever be happy” will obviously get a concerned reaction and you’lll be surprised at how your parents/siblings can help you. The one person not to talk to is your ex. Especially straightaway. If after some time seeing him out in public doesnt want to make you emotional then thats probably a good time to forgive and forget. Talking it out may make you realise things you didnt understand before, because sometimes its not only your partner’s fault it ended but it might have been yours too.
4) Prayer
So after you’ve accepted the situation and let your feelings out you need to pray. In this type of situation, its easier said than done but nevertheless you have to! A bit ironic coming from me as after a breakup, i lose hope in everything and i dont see the point in praying anymore. I once stopped praying for about 6/7 months (teenagehood😩 ), but if i had just moved my butt over to the prayer mat every now and then i couldve recovered so much quicker. Breakups/ divorces happen for a reason and i cant say much except for God knows best. Maybe your getting saved from something terrible, maybe you deserve someone better or maybe its just not your time to get married yet. Turning to your Lord when you’ve hit rock bottom may just change the entire course of your life so seize this opportunity.
5) Treat yo’self
After praying, (of course you followed my advice above🤗). It is time to treat yourself. I treat myself a little too much so it feels pretty normal to me but you are allowed to 100% spoil yourself. I normally turn to makeup and buy a product i wouldnt normally do. However, UNLIKE ME DONT SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SAVINGS. Little warning there. Remember, you do have an entire life after this. Spoil yourself but dont think that hey i dont have a wedding to save up for anymore, hello christian louboutin. I mean sure buy a pair if you want or go get yourself a waffle with an extra scoop of ice cream, but please dont over do it. Overdraft is a dark place to be in and you wanna be happy (emotionally, spiritually and financially🙌)
So thats pretty much all i wanted to ramble on about. Making sure that you do all these things will make the getting over “it” process quicker and slightly easier to deal with. It is tough but theres light at the end of the tunnel. There always is. And when you make a fabulous entrance into singlehood its gonnna be great i promise. When you are single, stay single. For a while at least to be happy and enjoy life and give yourself time to keep recovering, because it wont happen overnight.
If you need further personalised help/advice and need someone to talk to im happy to help. You can contact me by using any of the links in the Contact page
See you in my next post!
Love from Sahibah x
