An insight into my hijab journey

Hey my loves! I want to discuss something that people online have been raising questions and issues about my hijab (scarf) and how I portray it on social media. This isn’t a hate post where I’ll complain, but its a chance for those who don’t wear the hijab or don’t understand to see where i’m coming from and as always i’ll be 100% honest. I also want to talk about my journey into wearing it full time out and about and some of the issues I face with modest clothing.

If you follow me on my Instagram you’ll notice that I have my hair out in some of the older posts and people have asked whether I’ve just started wearing it now and some have been really mean calling me all sorts of things from “hypocrite” to “whore” to “part time hijabi”. I’ve heard it all. Im not mad at these comments but I think it comes from frustration or confusion and the mentality that once you choose to wear a hijab that’s it. You cant ever show your hair. Sometimes when I look at someone’s feed and they inconsistently wear a hijab I feel a tiny bit uncomfortable too but never to the extent where I would call them such horrible names. That’s bullying. Therefore, to these comments both the hateful and curious one’s I say that im going to keep these pictures solely because  I think they showcase makeup at a time where i didn’t always wear a hijab and its a look that I just cant recreate, I got lucky, but unfortunately im not wearing a scarf and that’s that.

Looking back to when I was a teenager if I remember correctly I started to wear the hijab in year 7. For the wrong reasons unfortunately and not realising what a massive decision it is and what it means by wearing it. Embarrasingly i’ll admit that I only wore a hijab when I couldn’t figure out how to style my hair. So as soon as I found a new hairstyle I took it off and when I get bored I started to wear it. The cycle continued until year 9 when I was taught what is required of me as a young muslim woman. I also felt stupid and bad when I heard school kids calling me a part time hijabi and i’ll also admit that I wore the hijab again (this time for permanent) so I could feel better and not be made fun of. I wasn’t exactly pressured by my family, I don’t remember my mom telling me you need to wear the hijab. It was my peer pressured, “i need to do this because everyone else is and I want to be a good muslim” 14 year old decision that I thought was great at the time.

Moving onto teenagehood I struggled between wanting to wear loose off the shoulder tops and cute knee high boots and tousled hair and then wanting to wear an abaya and then wanting to wear cute Asian clothes. I was stuck between these different personalities and I didn’t know which one to choose and who I was really. On special occasions I always took my hijab off so it still wasn’t permanent. In a professional environment for example interviews, university presentations or assessment centre’s I feel like I stand out so much. I remember being at an assessment centre in the summer where I was the only hijabi there and I was constantly thinking, “i hope they take me seriously” again and again and again. It was all rubbish and in my head, yet I felt so different and sort of, “not fitting in”.

I realised that if I feel like this then it must mean im struggling and I need to have a reason to wear it and be happy choosing this. Before I started my blog, I made it my mission to be absolutely consistent and always wear a hijab in every selfie so im putting out a consistent image of myself. I also did some further research as to what a hijab would protect me from, why we’ve been asked to do this and imagined who i would be without a hijab. And i came to the conclusion that i would be someone else, i wouldnt be me. My behaviour would change, my dress sense, the way i carry myself, the way i speak even. I absolutely hated the idea of being someone else, my hijab is my identity, my personality and i wouldn’t change it for the world. Eventually I founded the right reason and was happy with it too!

The issues i have with modest clothing

Quite often i find myself struggling to find modest clothing that i love and i feel confident and glamorous in. Wearing a hijab isnt just restricted to covering your hair, its becoming modest in all aspects for example clothing. Sometimes i see a modest clothing brand on Instagram and i get so excited until i see the price and just get taken aback at how utterly ridiculous it is. I dont understand the thought process behind the pricing when modest, stylish clothing should be so easily accessible. So if there are any modest clothing brands out there or are reading this please do keep the customer in mind and make modest clothing just as easy to shop for like regular clothing!

Its still a struggle at times where im tempted to take a selfie with my hair out and I still have a long way to go. Its a learning process that so many hijabi’s can connect and bond over and its beautiful. Let me know if you have any further questions and be sure to follow my blog for instant email notifications whenever I post!

See you in my next post Queens!

Love from Sahibah x

 

 

Purple makeup look

Hey my loves! Since we’re heading towards the festive season i thought to create a colourful purple smokey eye using the Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette. If you havent already read the detailed review i’ll link it here, and as mentioned before i really wanted to experiment with this palette as its not something i reach out for everyday but i really love how the looks using this palette have come out so far!

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FULL PRODUCT DETAILS:

BASE

  • Dior skin star foundation in 020 mixed with Too Faced Born this way Foundation in Warm Nude (a pump of each I use very little foundation)
  • Cream Contour using the sleek contour kit in medium and Cocoa matchstix from Fenty Beauty
  • Maybelline age rewind concealer in Nude
  • Too Faced born this way concealer in Light to highlight
  • Kat Von D shade and light face palette to contour and set the under eye as well as the rest of the face
  • Mac blush in Peaches
  • Iconic London strobing stick in Glow with Kiko Milano water eyeshadow in 208 on top for a powder highlight

EYES

  • Kiko Milano eyebrow expert kit in Medium and the LA girl Pro Conceal to shape the brows as well as using it a base for the eyeshadow
  • Eden, Amber and Oud from the Huda Beauty Eyeshadow palette used in the crease
  • Amethyst and Royal used in the centre and Nefertiti used in the inner part of the eye
  • Demure Lashes in Adore
  • Benefit rollerlash used for the lower lashes

Lips

  • Boldly Bare lipliner by Mac with Hepburn Honey by Charlotte Tillbury applied on top

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See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

Huda Beauty Desert Dusk review

Capturing the shimmering dunes and lights of a desert at dusk, Huda Beauty has released another majestic eye shadow palette to her line. The vibrant shades inspired by the mysterious desert landscape had me falling head over heels and utterly in love. As with any eye shadow palette I begin working out what the crease and transition colours are and imagining what looks to create, but I was just so  blown away by how vibrant the shades are. Very few palettes excite me but this sparked a creativity in me like never before and that’s when you know its pretty damn special. The palette was available on Cult Beauty for £56, ( exactly the same price as her previous palette). As usual i’ll be giving my honest opinion about whether its truly worth the hefty price tag as well as comparing it to her previous palette!

Packaging

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I love how Huda and her team took on board the complaints/suggestions her customers have said over her first palette, for example people wanted a mirror and I felt the same way too and the palette felt light and flimsy  so people felt like it wasn’t worth the £56 (which in my opinion is quite a lot for an eyeshadow palette). A lot of effort and consideration generally can be seen because the packaging is so beautiful. Waking up and seeing an intoxicating Arabian princess on your vanity staring right back at you on a gloomy day is just so different and genius. Also, when compared to the Rose Gold, the palette feels a lot more sturdy and heavy and she’s also included a mirror (thank the lord) so I’m glad she took on board what we wanted and it shows that she took our concerns seriously!

Swatches

For £56 you are getting:

– 8 Mattes

– 6 Pressed Pearls

– Three duo chrome toppers

– One pure glitter ( I’ll be sharing  a funny/heartbreaking story about this shade further on in the review!)

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Some of the mattes for example Saffron were a little patchy and difficult to swatch however I was perfectly pleased with the rest including all the pressed pearls and duo chrome toppers that im so excited to create looks with. However, the heartbreak with Cosmo was that I wasn’t entirely aware that its a complete loose glitter in the pan so as I turned the palette over to read some information on the back I heard something fell… And it was at that moment my heart dropped and saw the pan completely empty and a bunch of glitter on the floor. I was so annoyed. I did scrape it off the floor and pat it in but I think there should have been some sort of protective layer, the paper provided isn’t enough to hold the glitter in place because it moves around. I genuinely think for a high price there should have been something to stop the glitter from moving its just my opinion but if I hadn’t have saved cosmo I would’ve been one angry customer😩

The look I created and posted on my Instagram was a halo eye.

1) Eden was used for a transition shade along with Musk to deepen the crease.

2) I then used Oud in the inner corner and outer corner to create the halo shape. To soften the edges I mixed Desert Sand and the tiniest amount of Musk.

3) Saffron and Amber were used to deepen and define the halo in the same areas I used Oud. In the centre I first packed on Nefertiti and then applied glitter glue on top. I then applied Cosmo using a small synthetic packing brush.

4) On the lower lashline I used the same shades but using more Oud on the outer eye. Nefertiti was used as a inner corner highlight and using a angled liner I applied saffron in my inner waterline and I really liked how it looked

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The only issue I had was that some of the matte shades were a little patchy, when on the eye and swatches. For example when I layered similar colours such as Amber and Saffron to deepen and define I noticed skin still peeking through so I had to reapply and it was if the colour had disappeared or seperated. The problem with that is you end up adding more and more so it can turn into an unblended mess. Cosmo and Nefertiti applied nicely and there was a strong deposit of colour so I was happy with that. I will be creating more creative looks on my instagram so follow me if you don’t already so you don’t miss out!

One thing that really stood out and I admired was the campaign for this launch. If you haven’t watched the first look already on Huda’s Instagram i’ll link it here because it is jaw dropping. Im really loving the amount of effort digital influencers and bloggers with their own makeup lines are putting into their launches its incredible to see. Everything from the location, to the addictive music, the cinematography blew me away its one of my favourite launch videos to date. The genius idea of having a global snapchat filter to itensify the hype even further just made me admire Huda and her team even more. Their raw passion is so inspiring and uplifting and im excited to see what more Huda Beauty has to offer!

Final Verdict: Is it for me?

You ladies know that my reviews are a textbook long so to wrap this up I feel that if you want to push yourself experimenting with deep reds and purples, and playing with different textures and possibly scraping off glitter off the floor then this palette is for you. It gets my creative juices flowing and makes me want more to experiment with different coloured glitters, as opposed to my usual golds and silvers and get out of my comfort zone a little bit. It wont really be my everyday go to palette because I did try using Eden with Oud and I didn’t really like how it looked so i’ll be sticking with the Rose Gold. Its a palette to explore your creativity and have fun with but not really something i would be choosing to wear everyday.

I hope you found this review useful let me know if you have any questions. See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

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Fenty Beauty

Fenty beauty by Rihanna took the internet by storm. I am a little late on the fenty beauty hype because i wanted to take my time and figure out what i wanted and let the craze die down so i can have a relaxed shopping experience at Harvey Nichols.

Oh boy was i wrong. I really tried being patient waiting to get myself colour matched for the foundation i’ve been seeing countless good reviews on. Apart from it drying quickly and a slight shade change once applied i havent seen a single bad review, and in the beauty world thats a massive achievement. So sadly i couldnt get the foundation. However, for the past couple of weeks ive stopped wearing foundation and after applying primer i go straight in to highlight and contour and i really love how it looks so overall im glad i got the match stixs!

Before we get into the review, can we talk about the packaging. Its different and edgy and i love the soft pink that contrasts it all ( which sort of reminds me of KKW beauty) The idea of having magnetic sticks is genius and something i havent seen before. Its practical as i dont have to worry about losing any of them. The packaging for the gloss is so luxurious, i love the hexagonal shape and how its distinct from the rest. Clearly a huge amount of effort has gone into this and it mirrors Rihanna’s personality beautifully, as being edgy and feminine and perfect really😩

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Pictured : Gloss bomb, Match stix in Cocoa, Match stix in French Vanilla

Match stix’s

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This is how i contour and highlight on an every day basis with no foundation. Since i had no patience whatsoever to get myself colour matched for these (typical me), i took it upon myself to find the perfect shades. AND ITS SPOT ON! I needed a contour shade that wasnt too ashy/neutral or dark and a highlight that was brightening. Im not too keen on stick highlights as i’ve had some experiences with some being harsh and dragging my under eye. These are super creamy, i didnt feel as if it was pulling my skin and its very very easy to blend which i was so happy about. French Vanilla is a perfect under eye highlight.

When compared to the NYX wonder stick in medium; the contour stick ive been using for years, Cocoa is a lot warmer and intense and needs more work blending out. I use a real techniques stippling brush which is more than enough for the Nyx contour but with cocoa i have to use a beauty blender to buff it out. Ive become so used to the subtleness of the Nyx contour stick that cocoa makes me look like a bronzed sculpted goddess and im kind of living for it. I might prefer this over the NYX!

I do love the warm intensity of it but i wish the stick itself had a more pointer edge to create a precise line like the NYX wonder stick. It just makes life a little easier and instead of the contour looking thick it looks sharp, sculpted and clean.

The Gloss bomb

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How luxurious and yummy does it look im obsessed. I havent worn gloss since i was about 12 so i was curious to see myself wearing gloss again.  It has a fruity smell which i dont really appreciate as  i prefer non scented makeup but that was the only thing i didnt like. It retails for £16, its a high end gloss and i guarantee you could easily find a drugstore gloss with a rosy finish. It didnt feel sticky and awkward on my lips throughout the day and it has a gorgeous shine which got me quite a few compliments!

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That wraps up my review, let me know if you have any questions about the products❤

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

Life with a single parent

Scratching the suface of an unfortunate journey, i wanted to share what life feels like growing up with a single parent. A reminder to those who are like me that we can get through it, we have and we will, and to shed some light to those who were fortunate having a normal childhood.

The only memory i have of my dad before he left when i was just a toddler, is us watching tv. Im not sure how i’ve clinged on to that to be honest, it might be a dream or a cluster of random memories sewn together, but i like to think of it as a memory. To summarise life after he left, it was as if my childhood was set on fire. It was a nightmare that im glad i was too young to fully understand, unlike my older siblings. I remember being put to bed and waking up in a random car. It was my dad trying to take me away with him after he left ( apparently he loved me the most). Waking up in random cars, being pulled between two parents every other night, the screaming, the fights, the chasing him around every weekend, knocking on door after door after door hoping he would come back. It stayed like that for years. Now as an adult i regret all the time we wasted chasing  a dead end when instead we should have let go and moved on.

I cant really blame my mom for chasing him. She was taught her duties as a wife and a mother and nothing else. She wasnt given a proper education and she depended entirely on her husband (as everyone else did at that time, it was the norm). So i cant imagine how devastated, lost and confused she must have felt waking up the morning after he left. Having to handle 3 kids and a house that came with a tonne of responsibilities and new things she had to learn. I cant imagine how scared she must have been. Thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. It was devastating.

So that was life for my mom. Learning how to be completely independent. Toughening herself up, thinking like a man to survive in a strange country with her 3 daughters she fought to protect every single day. Sometimes she tells me stories that are too painful to hear… She tells me how she used to move furniture against our bedroom door, she was paranoid thinking we would get robbed. She stayed awake the whole night, scared with one child in one arm and one in the other. Sleeping for just a couple of hours and waking up when it was time for school, and then a full day of chores and responsibilities ahead of her. Deemed unfit for work, she did her best to provide for us. Even if i didnt get that laptop i wanted for my birthday she always made sure i got something. The sacrifices shes made for us are countless, from carrying me on her shoulders in heavy rain to a doctor to waiting outside in the cold to collect me and my siblings from school and mosque every day. She had a choice that night when my dad left. She could have ditched us too and moved back to her country and lived her life. But she didnt. Such is the power of a mothers love. Through the cold and the wind and the snow she raised us and shes applauded for it.

“So what does it feel like?”. I used to get asked that quite a lot. Its living a life but with a deep emptiness.  Put simply its a hole in your heart that no one can fill, no hobby can distract you from it, no epic love of your life can take the place of. Its a scar that never fades. I actually do have a scar from a fight i was caught in between my parents. A splinter of glass hit my cheek and it formed a scar. A reminder of my hell. Its the little luxuries in life ive wanted but never had. Having two parents attend parents evening, a shopping trip with my dad, little family holidays, the comfort of knowing i have a protector. Those are the luxuries i would kill to have and luxuries no one should ever take granted. Phrases like “daddy’s little girl” were a mystery to me too. However, me and my sisters had to toughen up and fend for ourselves to survive.

I’ll never forget the sacrifices my mother has made. Even now when my dad has sort of come back and wants to be more involved, his efforts are nothing compared to what he put us through. At first when he made contact, i was furious, i didnt forgive him for years. How could anyone? Eventually i softened up (only because my mom told me to, otherwise im ruthless when it comes to forgiveness). I thought if my mom has the strength and courage to forgive him then i should too. However i dont think he’ll ever know the extent of the damage he caused. Psychological studies have proven children from broken familes, from single parents find it difficult to have healthy long lasting relationships. And its true. We’re paranoid in thinking we’ll get betrayed, having low levels of trust and just the eternal emptiness hovering around us.

Anyway thats enough dullness. We got through it and yes it was hell and i would kill in a heartbeat for the chance to have a normal childhood. But it was meant to be. I’ve seen things no child should see, pain no child should suffer through but as a result, its made us stronger, wiser, faster and appreciative of tiny blessings most people overlook. If one day i grow to be even half the woman my mom is, i would be pretty damn proud. Because even the brightest diamond could never repay and amount to the favours and sacrifices shes made. That any mother has made.

What we can do is be appreciative and let them know that. Let them know that we’re thankful, and we honour and love them before its too late. I hope i’ve shed some light on an unfortunate situation that some people have to face and accept as a part of life.

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

 

 

How to handle your finances!

Its September. In other words, millions of students are anxiously waiting for that student finance text to drop and the wave of ecstasy afterwards seeing  2 digits to a nice old 4. If you struggle with handling your money, wondering where your paycheck flew off to, or a shopaholic student then this post is for you, because if anyone knows the despair of bankruptcy ITS ME!

Now i’ve been trying to figure out how to budget and being aware of where my money is going. I’ve had lectures from parents, ive read countless blogs and youtube videos but through my experience of working full time and now being a student i feel i have a taste of both worlds to figure out what budget plan works for me and to share some of my tips that i hope you find useful.

Working out a budget plan

Over the summer, I’ve had to completely stop my excessive spending and focus on bare necessities, and this meant I had to ignore every sale, every email, every special offer and it made me realise how much promotional material we’re exposed to every day. Its crazy. In one day I must have received about 10 to 20 emails from different beauty/clothing/footwear brands clawing at my purse and we’re exposed to that every single day. Fear not, there’s a solution.

A monthly budget plan is your new bestie from now on. It must sound a little overwhelming and something you would do when you have kids and a mortgage to consider, but a budget plan makes it clear what your spending on and how much you need to save, (which really is going to benefit you in the long run). Its not a long list of decimals and pie charts and diagrams (I’ve left that in school thank you very much). I’m going to tell you guys how I’ve drew up my budget plan, based on my spending habits, my social life (LOL) and my expenses. I can proudly say I don’t own a single designer item and I don’t really see the point of fine dining. Therefore, your budget plan needs to consider YOUR expenses and likes.

I’ve written down my budget plan both in my diary and my phone and I’ve memorised it a million times so I stick to it (if only I sticked to it in first year!). Taking into my loan from student finance into consideration and money from my part time ish job, I’ve set aside £100 for every category to spend on every month. I’ve set aside money for savings and money for expenses I need to cover too. For example, my blogging expenses, the odd food shopping and bill. I’ve also calculated how much I would have left at the end of each month if I were to spend £100 on a category, for example makeup (This is a maximum amount that i probably wont go over but if I were to go over, I would cut back the next month).

You can go down or increase it, but it has to be a set amount so you can control exactly how much you pay for categories like food, clothing, travel etc. Keep a set amount for each category every month. It also helps to plan what you will buy over the next few months so you can keep track. For example I’ve planned out key items I need to get, keeping in with my monthly £100 budget. With a category like food, it really depends how many times you go out to eat and its difficult to keep track of it, so its something you have to consider. Learning how to cook a little, reward cards to save some money by earning points and packed lunches here and there are a great way to cut back on eating out all the time.

Also, another little trick I’ve learnt is to always have cash on you. I feel like whenever I pay for something, using cash and physically handing it over, it registers as more important in my mind than using my card. It might sound crazy but I feel like I’ve actually spent money when I’ve given notes to someone. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t set up contactless, I would be swiping my account away one Selfridges at a time.

Budgeting may sound impossible especially in a time where breathing is expensive, but it can be done by growing up a bit and recognising your wants and needs. For example, i havent experienced living on my own yet but if you are, then you need to recognise how much money you have coming in, work out exactly what you need to pay for and still have enough for personal use. Its only possible with a clear budget.

 

Financing for makeup artists, beauty bloggers

Knowing how to control your expenses when your a beauty blogger or a makeup artist is so so important. I completely understand the struggle scrolling through a makeup fanatic’s feed seeing highlighters cover their entire floor and thinking I need it all.

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In fact one of the reasons I was skeptical of blogging was thinking i needed every lipstick, every foundation, every limited edition, every brand and showcase it to the point where i have to live off peanuts. No girl. You don’t know someone’s situation behind your phone screen. They could be the most broke person on the planet, they could be working day and night or they could be quite well off. My point is, if its wanting to make you buy unnecessary things, then take a step back, breathe and think about how it will affect your budget.

The beauty of beauty blogging is that there’s so many of us so we all don’t need to have exactly the same products and tastes, so you don’t have to feel pressured in owning everything. Remember, you have a life and commitments outside of blogging too. For makeup artists and aspiring artists I would give the same advice. Its the quality and skill of your work that determines your demand from clients and not your kit. You could have 15 high end palettes but if you cant blend out eye shadow, I’m not booking you girl. So don’t feel pressured, building a freelance kit takes time. I’ll be posting advice soon for aspiring makeup artists and bloggers so STAY TUNED!

To wrap up this insanely long post, figure out what you spend most on, keep to a set amount, don’t ignore necessary expenses and keep checking your account. Small little shocks along the way is better than one huge depressing blow to the face. And finally dont worry too much, once you’ve worked out your expenses and your keeping in line with a budget then life’s good!

Hope this helped, See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

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The Draping technique

Otherwise known as contouring with blush and was the technique created by the founding father of contouring, Way Bandy

The legendary celebrity makeup artist of the 70’s worked with the likes of Cher, Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor amongst other high profile Hollywood celebrities and was once called one of the greatest makeup artists of our time. As well as being the highest paid makeup artist for film and commercials, Bandy also wrote books explaining his techniques to achieve heavy yet clean looking makeup (books that i really need to get my hands on😩). I would recommend anyone who enjoys vintage makeup, a bit of history or wants to delve into old school makeup then these books are a great choice!

One of his techniques that was recently brought to the public eye by Marc Jacobs in 2016 was the Draping technique. In simple terms, its contouring using two different shades of blush, one light and one dark to create a contour. It focuses on sculpting your facial features and not your face shape, which is why people contour. Its a way to bring out the natural “drape” of the face and “draping” the angles of your face with colour. So without further ado, i shall stop obsessing about Way Bandy and show you what products i use, what sort of occasion i would wear this and how it looks on me.

The key to this look is using TWO blushers, one light and one darker. If you dont then it really will look like you’ve been slapped (not a good look, i assure you). 20170824_151213.jpg

This took me about 3 minutes, i have no other makeup on except two blushers and cream highlight. I used the Fleur power blush from Mac ( any pink blush would be fine too) as my “contour”. Sucking my cheeks and applying it in the same way as i would contour. Then i used Peaches from Mac and applied this higher and blended them two together to create a flushed, chiselled look. You can also use a cream blush and create a line with your ring finger, blend that out and use powder blush thats a shade lighter to blend the two together. A blush palette would work great too instead of using seperate compacts.

The draping technique has been a god send over the summer, i tan really quickly and i dont necessarily want to contour on top of it (because im that rare person who HATES getting a tan). I normally drape when i have that “i only have 5 minutes” to do makeup and its worked beautifully. So using blush to chisel my potatoness (a made up word) has become a much loved technique and its become my mission to get everyone else to drape! You can definitely play around with the intensity from looking fresh and summery, as if you were running across a field to looking like you’ve come out of a 70’s disco. Either way, Bandy has created a beautiful natural alternative to contouring❤

Let me know if you’ve tried the draping technique and make sure to enter your email on the homepage so you never miss a post

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x