My Vanity Femme Seminar experience

Hey my loves, I finally get to talk about my makeup seminar experience with the popular beauty blogger on Instagram, Vanity Femme. In no way is this a hate post or a post about me complaining, its rather an expression and a story of how disappointed and let down I felt and how I still feel for putting my trust and admiration into someone online

Why I went to the seminar

To give you guys an idea of why I reacted so deeply about this situation im going to be talking about why I went. The tickets went live on her instagram page late summer last year and it was around this time where I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in beauty. I knew I had the passion, the willingness to learn but I just didn’t how to get started. I was thinking of setting up a beauty page with reviews as I thought a blog would be complicated (lol @ at how naïve I was) but I was still skeptical and scared of taking the plunge. I didn’t really have much contact with influencer’s/makeup artists/ or bloggers who could give me tips in starting out so Mariyah (Vanity Femme) offering an intimate class giving her advice on how she got started was just perfect for me. I also had the intention of observing and networking with the other students, finding out how they started, the challenges they faced and where they want to be at in the future. So the intention wasn’t to learn about makeup, it was to network, meet new people talk about their experiences in a massive industry that I was so scared to step into, and of course meet Mariyah herself. An influencer I admired so much. I didn’t care much about the “controversies” and stories she was involved in, i just looked up to her as a woman, an influencer and a business woman and i think she’s absolutely stunning

The event itself

Looking back i would give the event a 6/10. The content and technique’s she taught was information i knew already but it was a great experience seeing makeup applied in front of you and seeing the transformation without the lighting or super speed that im so used to seeing on online. I immediately warmed up to her I thought she was lovely and answered every weird question i had because i wanted to absorb as much information as i could.

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So you’re probably wondering what’s the problem. The goody bag was the problem. All students were promised her collection of glow dusts and her eyelashes. On the day of the event we took home the glow dusts because the eyelashes were low in stock, so she said we’ll be getting the lashes in a week’s time.

2 weeks later. No lashes. 2 months later. No lashes. Last December after waiting endlessly for her to reply to my emails, i commented, “if anyone attended the Birmingham seminar please DM me” under her picture on Instagram, as i thought maybe it’s just me she has trouble sending the products out to. I then got blocked. As someone who has never got blocked by someone my naïve little mind thought she deleted her page. But it quickly came apparent that she saw my comment and blocked me. I cant express how let down and hurt i felt by someone i admired and even loved so much that she cut me off so abruptly without thinking how i would feel. And that’s where major influencer’s get it wrong. Maybe they don’t realise that their vast number of followers on their page are actually people with feelings and maybe they have a bigger impact on people than they realise.

I gave up after that. I was still really hurt, not over the lashes but over how the first beauty influencer i met, the first makeup artist i met, the first look i had into this industry resulted in such a hurtful negative experience. I deleted my instagram soon after because it made me feel so low and i thought what’s the point of coming into this industry if i get treated like this? Also her customer service team is appalling, i don’t understand how you could ignore so many emails when that is your only job to do. It baffles me.

Fast forward to summer this year, Mariyah herself sent an email out to her students…

 

 

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To be honest, i was quite glad that she was resolving the issue by logging into her email 7 months later and reading all of our emails, some of which called her a scammer. It was good that she acknowledged that her customer service team is actually awful by not communicating with the brand owner and sending out pretty basic certificates using the Word page design template we all used in primary school. However, reading that i became a little hopeful again.

Its December, and the lashes are nowhere to be seen and probably wont be. Some of her attendees from her other seminar’s  that took place earlier than the one in Birmingham have the same problem with the same product’s, and we’ve all pretty much given up at this point. I called her a shitty businesswoman in one of my emails and i stand by that 100%

If i was in her place, a brand owner and influencer. Firstly i would have an awareness or a sort of appreciation of who follows me and understand my impact upon my audience. Then i would fire the customer service team and handle all that myself and make sure everyone’s satisfied. I also wouldn’t have lied and led my students on month after month and just be honest and say. “im sorry but its not possible for me to give you the lashes, but here’s how im going to make up for it for making you wait all this time”. I would’ve created some sort of buy one lash get the other half price or for free, or a discount code just for the student’s who attended. Lying and deceiving your students, some of which may be loyal supporters is not the way to do business and i hope she learns that from this experience.

If you guys are wanting to attend a makeup seminar, i wouldn’t recommend going to a Vanity Femme one if she decides to hold any in the future, simply because its unreliable and straight up unprofessional.  I would recommend attending a seminar from someone the likes of @makeupbymario who is having his Masterclass in London next April. @soniaxfyza held an small seminar in November and so many celebrity makeup artists hold seminar’s across the UK so i would definitely keep an eye out and attend!

To wrap up this post, I don’t hate Mariyah, i just don’t agree with how she runs her business and i think she could have made this into a more positive experience if she just put some effort in. Although she has blocked me, i still view her profile from my sister’s phone, watch her YouTube tutorials and even have screenshots of her makeup because i still admire her skill and style. Overall, it was a lesson to perhaps not to put my trust into people so quickly, and that not every influencer treats their followers the same, as through this blogging journey I’ve met the most beautiful, good hearted sincere souls!

Hope you enjoyed reading this experience, see you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

 

 

Life with a single parent

Scratching the suface of an unfortunate journey, i wanted to share what life feels like growing up with a single parent. A reminder to those who are like me that we can get through it, we have and we will, and to shed some light to those who were fortunate having a normal childhood.

The only memory i have of my dad before he left when i was just a toddler, is us watching tv. Im not sure how i’ve clinged on to that to be honest, it might be a dream or a cluster of random memories sewn together, but i like to think of it as a memory. To summarise life after he left, it was as if my childhood was set on fire. It was a nightmare that im glad i was too young to fully understand, unlike my older siblings. I remember being put to bed and waking up in a random car. It was my dad trying to take me away with him after he left ( apparently he loved me the most). Waking up in random cars, being pulled between two parents every other night, the screaming, the fights, the chasing him around every weekend, knocking on door after door after door hoping he would come back. It stayed like that for years. Now as an adult i regret all the time we wasted chasing  a dead end when instead we should have let go and moved on.

I cant really blame my mom for chasing him. She was taught her duties as a wife and a mother and nothing else. She wasnt given a proper education and she depended entirely on her husband (as everyone else did at that time, it was the norm). So i cant imagine how devastated, lost and confused she must have felt waking up the morning after he left. Having to handle 3 kids and a house that came with a tonne of responsibilities and new things she had to learn. I cant imagine how scared she must have been. Thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. It was devastating.

So that was life for my mom. Learning how to be completely independent. Toughening herself up, thinking like a man to survive in a strange country with her 3 daughters she fought to protect every single day. Sometimes she tells me stories that are too painful to hear… She tells me how she used to move furniture against our bedroom door, she was paranoid thinking we would get robbed. She stayed awake the whole night, scared with one child in one arm and one in the other. Sleeping for just a couple of hours and waking up when it was time for school, and then a full day of chores and responsibilities ahead of her. Deemed unfit for work, she did her best to provide for us. Even if i didnt get that laptop i wanted for my birthday she always made sure i got something. The sacrifices shes made for us are countless, from carrying me on her shoulders in heavy rain to a doctor to waiting outside in the cold to collect me and my siblings from school and mosque every day. She had a choice that night when my dad left. She could have ditched us too and moved back to her country and lived her life. But she didnt. Such is the power of a mothers love. Through the cold and the wind and the snow she raised us and shes applauded for it.

“So what does it feel like?”. I used to get asked that quite a lot. Its living a life but with a deep emptiness.  Put simply its a hole in your heart that no one can fill, no hobby can distract you from it, no epic love of your life can take the place of. Its a scar that never fades. I actually do have a scar from a fight i was caught in between my parents. A splinter of glass hit my cheek and it formed a scar. A reminder of my hell. Its the little luxuries in life ive wanted but never had. Having two parents attend parents evening, a shopping trip with my dad, little family holidays, the comfort of knowing i have a protector. Those are the luxuries i would kill to have and luxuries no one should ever take granted. Phrases like “daddy’s little girl” were a mystery to me too. However, me and my sisters had to toughen up and fend for ourselves to survive.

I’ll never forget the sacrifices my mother has made. Even now when my dad has sort of come back and wants to be more involved, his efforts are nothing compared to what he put us through. At first when he made contact, i was furious, i didnt forgive him for years. How could anyone? Eventually i softened up (only because my mom told me to, otherwise im ruthless when it comes to forgiveness). I thought if my mom has the strength and courage to forgive him then i should too. However i dont think he’ll ever know the extent of the damage he caused. Psychological studies have proven children from broken familes, from single parents find it difficult to have healthy long lasting relationships. And its true. We’re paranoid in thinking we’ll get betrayed, having low levels of trust and just the eternal emptiness hovering around us.

Anyway thats enough dullness. We got through it and yes it was hell and i would kill in a heartbeat for the chance to have a normal childhood. But it was meant to be. I’ve seen things no child should see, pain no child should suffer through but as a result, its made us stronger, wiser, faster and appreciative of tiny blessings most people overlook. If one day i grow to be even half the woman my mom is, i would be pretty damn proud. Because even the brightest diamond could never repay and amount to the favours and sacrifices shes made. That any mother has made.

What we can do is be appreciative and let them know that. Let them know that we’re thankful, and we honour and love them before its too late. I hope i’ve shed some light on an unfortunate situation that some people have to face and accept as a part of life.

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x