How to have a stress free wedding

This is for the new brides of 2018, the one’s planning their big day in the future, or the curious ladies wanting to know just what¬† goes on in a bride’s head!
A stress free wedding may seem impossible for a bride who wants a wedding to be perfectly in line with the one she imagines. If ive experienced anything in the past few weeks even, is that its pretty stressful and tough to bring that perfect wedding you want to life. This is coming from a bride who threw a tantrum when she couldnt get the decorated candles she wantedūüôÉ. So i’ve come up with a few tips to help you girls to to make the whole wedding planning experience a pleasant one which in turn will help calm nerves on the big day!

1) Keep a checklist!

Bit obvious i know, but you would be surprised how effective and organised it is keeping a paper checklist on hand when you wedding shop. Phone memo’s just dont cut itūüė©. For me, writing everything you need to sort out and buy for different occasions, (especially for asian weddings when our pre wedding celebrations last a month) helps me to organise my day too so I don’t overspend or spend time looking at unnecessary ¬†items. Of course wedding shopping is meant to be fun and girly and cute and memorable, but¬†it will be all these things when its a lot more organised and clear for you!

2) Don’t be a perfectionist

As much as it hurts to say this, as I want every tiny little detail to be gleaming and 100%, it takes all the fun out of it! Being a crazy perfectionist spoils the mood and atmosphere of it all so try to relax, allow little mistakes and spontaneity and fun!.  Let go of your inner control freak and let other people for example your partner, family members take hold of the reins and run errands while you take a little break as it becomes a shared experience this way. Also, maybe condense your wedding preparations from the usual 12 months to maybe 5 or 6 months. For me, I have exactly 3 months. It may be a complete tiring whirlwind of 3 months, but as long as your organised and a little relaxed, I feel its a lot more effective than dragging out the preparations in a year.

3) Don’t lose sight

In the midst of all these preparations and keeping up with tradition, its so important to not lose sight of what it is that you are planning. Its no fun planning a wedding to such an extent where you ignore your partner and forget about the meaning of it all and the changes your wedding will bring. Keeping this all in balance will ensure you have a blessed and joyous experience!

4) Relax and allow mistakes!

As mentioned before, its important to relax and not to over think about tiny little details and maybe let things slide. Not major details like the colour and design of your dress or the theme, hell no, but more along the lines of noticing the cupcakes are green instead of light green (trust me, we do actually throw a fit over details like this!). Just laugh it off and let it slide. Don’t worry¬†too much about¬†social media either.¬†For example, I¬†used to overthink about whether I should post on the day, or after or how much should I share being an influencer/blogger. Now I will say, don’t let the smaller details of coloured cupcakes and pictures worry you and take you away from all the emotions and experiences

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Exhibit A of me snorting, choking on food and giving a devilish smile on my engagement. Lord knows the faces I’ll make on my weddingūüė©ūüėā

All of your efforts will come together beautifully, so let funny pictures of yourself snorting, stuffing yourself with food slide and relax, take it all in and live in the moment!

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah xx

An insight into my hijab journey

Hey my loves! I want to discuss something that people online have been raising questions and issues about my hijab (scarf) and how I portray it on social media. This isn’t a hate post where I’ll complain, but its a chance for those who don’t wear the hijab or don’t understand to see where i’m coming from and as always i’ll be 100% honest. I also want to talk about my journey into wearing it full time out and about and some of the issues I face with modest clothing.

If you follow me on my Instagram you’ll notice that I have my hair out in some of the older posts and people have asked whether I’ve just started wearing it now and some have been really mean calling me all sorts of things from “hypocrite” to “whore” to “part time hijabi”. I’ve heard it all. Im not mad at these comments but I think it comes from frustration or confusion and the mentality that once you choose to wear a hijab that’s it. You cant ever show your hair. Sometimes when I look at someone’s feed and they inconsistently wear a hijab I feel a tiny bit uncomfortable too but never to the extent where I would call them such horrible names. That’s bullying. Therefore, to these comments both the hateful and curious one’s I say that im going to keep these pictures solely because  I think they showcase makeup at a time where i didn’t always wear a hijab and its a look that I just cant recreate, I got lucky, but unfortunately im not wearing a scarf and that’s that.

Looking back to when I was a teenager if I remember correctly I started to wear the hijab in year 7. For the wrong reasons unfortunately and not realising what a massive decision it is and what it means by wearing it. Embarrasingly i’ll admit that I only wore a hijab when I couldn’t figure out how to style my hair. So as soon as I found a new hairstyle I took it off and when I get bored I started to wear it. The cycle continued until year 9 when I was taught what is required of me as a young muslim woman. I also felt stupid and bad when I heard school kids calling me a part time hijabi and i’ll also admit that I wore the hijab again (this time for permanent) so I could feel better and not be made fun of. I wasn’t exactly pressured by my family, I don’t remember my mom telling me you need to wear the hijab. It was my peer pressured, “i need to do this because everyone else is and I want to be a good muslim” 14 year old decision that I thought was great at the time.

Moving onto teenagehood I struggled between wanting to wear loose off the shoulder tops and cute knee high boots and tousled hair and then wanting to wear an abaya and then wanting to wear cute Asian clothes. I was stuck between these different personalities and I didn’t know which one to choose and who I was really. On special occasions I always took my hijab off so it still wasn’t permanent. In a professional environment for example interviews, university presentations or assessment centre’s I feel like I stand out so much. I remember being at an assessment centre in the summer where I was the only hijabi there and I was constantly thinking, “i hope they take me seriously” again and again and again. It was all rubbish and in my head, yet I felt so different and sort of, “not fitting in”.

I realised that if I feel like this then it must mean im struggling and I need to have a reason to wear it and be happy choosing this. Before I started my blog, I made it my mission to be absolutely consistent and always wear a hijab in every selfie so im putting out a consistent image of myself. I also did some further research as to what a hijab would protect me from, why we’ve been asked to do this and imagined who i would be without a hijab. And i came to the conclusion that i would be someone else, i wouldnt be me. My behaviour would change, my dress sense, the way i carry myself, the way i speak even. I absolutely hated the idea of being someone else, my hijab is my identity, my personality and i wouldn’t change it for the world. Eventually I founded the right reason and was happy with it too!

The issues i have with modest clothing

Quite often i find myself struggling to find modest clothing that i love and i feel confident and glamorous in. Wearing a hijab isnt just restricted to covering your hair, its becoming modest in all aspects for example clothing. Sometimes i see a modest clothing brand on Instagram and i get so excited until i see the price and just get taken aback at how utterly ridiculous it is. I dont understand the thought process behind the pricing when modest, stylish clothing should be so easily accessible. So if there are any modest clothing brands out there or are reading this please do keep the customer in mind and make modest clothing just as easy to shop for like regular clothing!

Its still a struggle at times where im tempted to take a selfie with my hair out and I still have a long way to go. Its a learning process that so many hijabi’s can connect and bond over and its beautiful. Let me know if you have any further questions and be sure to follow my blog for instant email notifications whenever I post!

See you in my next post Queens!

Love from Sahibah x

 

 

Huda Beauty Desert Dusk review

Capturing the shimmering dunes and lights¬†of a desert at dusk, Huda Beauty has released another majestic eye shadow palette to her line. The vibrant shades inspired by the mysterious desert landscape had me falling head over heels and utterly in love. As with any eye shadow palette I begin working out what the crease and transition colours are and imagining what looks to create, but I was just so ¬†blown away by how vibrant the shades are. Very few palettes excite me but this¬†sparked a creativity in me like never before and that’s when you know its pretty damn¬†special. The palette was available on Cult Beauty for ¬£56, (¬†exactly the same price as her previous palette). As usual i’ll be giving my honest opinion about whether its truly worth the hefty price tag as well as comparing it to her previous palette!

Packaging

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I love how Huda and her team took on board the complaints/suggestions her customers have said over her first palette, for example people wanted a mirror and I felt the same way too¬†and the palette felt light and flimsy ¬†so people felt like it wasn’t worth the ¬£56 (which in my opinion is quite a lot for an eyeshadow palette). A lot of effort and consideration generally can be seen¬†because the packaging is so beautiful. Waking up and seeing an intoxicating Arabian princess¬†on¬†your vanity¬†staring right back at you on a gloomy day¬†is just so different¬†and genius. Also, when compared to the Rose Gold, the palette feels a lot more sturdy and heavy and she’s also included a mirror (thank the lord) so I’m glad she took on board what we wanted and it shows that she took our concerns seriously!

Swatches

For £56 you are getting:

– 8 Mattes

– 6 Pressed Pearls

– Three duo chrome toppers

– One pure glitter ( I’ll be sharing¬† a¬†funny/heartbreaking story about this shade further on in the review!)

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Some of the mattes for example Saffron were a little patchy and difficult to swatch however I was perfectly pleased with the rest including all the pressed pearls and duo chrome toppers that im so excited to create looks with. However, the heartbreak with Cosmo was that I wasn’t entirely aware that its a complete loose glitter in the pan so as I turned the palette over to read some information on the back I heard something fell… And it was at that moment my heart dropped and saw the pan completely empty and a bunch of glitter on the floor. I was so annoyed. I did scrape it off the floor and pat it in but I think there should have been some sort of protective layer, the paper provided isn’t enough to hold the glitter in place because it moves around. I genuinely think for a high price there should have been something to stop the glitter from moving its just my opinion but if I hadn’t have saved cosmo I would’ve been one angry customerūüė©

The look I created and posted on my Instagram was a halo eye.

1) Eden was used for a transition shade along with Musk to deepen the crease.

2) I then used Oud in the inner corner and outer corner to create the halo shape. To soften the edges I mixed Desert Sand and the tiniest amount of Musk.

3) Saffron and Amber were used to deepen and define the halo in the same areas I used Oud. In the centre I first packed on Nefertiti and then applied glitter glue on top. I then applied Cosmo using a small synthetic packing brush.

4) On the lower lashline I used the same shades but using more Oud on the outer eye. Nefertiti was used as a inner corner highlight and using a angled liner I applied saffron in my inner waterline and I really liked how it looked

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The only issue I had was that some of the matte shades were a little patchy, when on the eye and swatches. For example when I layered similar colours such as Amber and Saffron¬†to deepen and define I noticed skin still peeking through so I had to reapply and it was if the colour had disappeared or seperated. The problem with that is you end up adding more and more so it can turn into an unblended mess. Cosmo and Nefertiti applied nicely and there was a strong deposit of colour so I was happy with that. I will be creating more creative¬†looks on my¬†instagram¬†so follow me if you don’t already so you don’t miss out!

One thing that really stood out and I admired was the campaign for this launch. If you haven’t watched the first look already on Huda’s Instagram i’ll¬†link it here¬†because it is jaw dropping. Im really loving the amount of effort digital influencers and bloggers with their own makeup lines are putting into their launches its incredible to see. Everything from the location, to the addictive music, the cinematography blew me away its one of my favourite launch videos to date. The genius idea of having a global snapchat filter to itensify the hype even further just made me admire Huda and her team even more. Their raw passion is so inspiring and uplifting and im excited to see what more Huda Beauty has to offer!

Final Verdict: Is it for me?

You ladies know that my reviews are a textbook long so to wrap this up I feel that if you want to push yourself experimenting with deep reds and purples, and playing with different textures and possibly scraping off glitter off the floor then this palette is for you. It gets my creative juices flowing and makes me want more to experiment with different coloured glitters, as opposed to my usual golds and silvers and get out of my comfort zone a little bit. It wont really be my everyday go to palette because I did try using¬†Eden¬†with Oud and I didn’t really like how it looked so i’ll be sticking with the Rose Gold. Its a palette to explore your creativity and have fun with but not really something i would be choosing to wear everyday.

I hope you found this review useful let me know if you have any questions. See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

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Self harm

Hey my loves, the topic of Self harm is a very personal sensitive one, and i pray who ever is going through this comes across this post and thinks again before doing it. I wont be an agony aunt telling you to stop, and think that your stupid for harming yourself, but instead i want to reassure and remind you that you’re not alone.

I have come across so many people who self harm its crazy, i knew i wasnt alone but i just didnt realise so many people had this problem. Now i know for a fact, that if you self harm and you explain yourself to another person who doesnt self harm, they will 100% not understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been called stupid, a lowlife, attention seeker, weirdo, emo, the list goes on. But my family and friends who have tried to help me and i really appreciate their efforts,  they just dont get it. Only someone who self harms will understand someone else who does the same. It’s a fact.

I came across someone on Twitter who put up pictures of his scars, and there were some horrible comments that probably pushed him further and further. I messaged him asking if he was okay, and i have to say talking to someone else who self harms is so eye opening, its a strange feeling of coming together through pain.

If i was to describe the process of coming about self harm, it would be really difficult but im going to describe it as best as i can from what i feel. When im in a personal crisis that i cant deal with, i get angry really quickly, my anger is unbelievable. Through frustration, because i dont want to get violent or destroy anything, i take it upon myself by cutting. It releases all my anger and pain away from me and onto something else; my skin. Its not always anger, sometimes its a deep sadness, it used to come from feeling worthless and a form of punishing myself, so it happens because of these emotions or sometimes all at once.

So if im in a crisis, i have a lot of pent up anger in me and i reach for my weapon. In this moment in time, im overcome by this sort of inner demon, my dark side,  its a darkness and the person who i was lets say 3 days ago, is not there, she’s vanished. Im completely overcome by this deep dark shadow over me and it wont go unless i cut. I’ve tried resisting it by drawing on myself, going for a relaxing bath even, scratching myself, but the urges are so strong, so intense that its impossible to think of anything else other than the sensation of cutting and seeing blood on my skin. It sounds scary but i have checked for posession a couple of times so its safe to say it really is my dark side. Its an addiction. And like an addict, its really tough to get out of.

I’ve been self harming for about 7 years now, so its an addiction im struggling with. Everytime im in a crisis, i would rather take it out on me physically, rather than dealing with it emotionally. So i cut, cry and let it out of my system and then im back to normal Sahibah. After i cut, its a sigh of relief, its not exactly happiness but its a little joy knowing ive dealt with it and i’ll be okay soon. Its my inner demon smiling. I know it sounds a little deranged and creepy as hell but thats how it is for me. This is raw, real, self harm. A couple of hours later, the regret kicks in. The demonic, dark trance i was in is gone and normal Sahibah re appears again looking at herself in the mirror thinking, “man i really need to throw that knife away”. You cant shower for a while, you cant move whatever body part you cut, you always have to cover up and hide yourself and it hurts like a bitch. But you have to live and deal with the decision you made.

So thats the process for me, from thinking about cutting to covering up at the end. I have reached out for help and im so proud to say i’ve been self harm free for 6 months! The thing to remember is that you dont have to fall in a spriral of addiction like me, there are people willing to help.

  • Talk to your GP–  When you visit your GP you might discover that your self harm is a sign of a disorder that you need help with for example, depression or anxiety. Getting help as early as you can will help to minimise negative long term effects. You might also need injury treatment as everyone uses different ways to self harm, its not always a knife.
  • Reach out to Self harm organisations/charities– Please make use of these, if you feel like you need to talk to someone new about your issues, or you need urgent help. These organisations are dedicated to helping people who suffer from self harm so please reach out. I cant stress how important it is to let your anger/frustration/sadness whatever it is you feel out in ANOTHER WAY, so please have a read through these websites, read their blogs and give them a call and i 100% promise you, you will get the help you need.
  • http://www.selfharm.co.uk
  • http://www.youngminds.org.uk/self-harm
  • http://www.mind.org.uk
  • Distract yourself – What helped me was to channel my anger out in another way and to not reach for my knife. Believe it or not, i took up boxing for a short time and breaking small things like a pen or tearing up paper, anything to take my mind away from cutting.

This is a very difficult topic for me to talk about. Its something i really dont like sharing, its my dark little secret that i keep to myself. I’ve always kept my online image in control, and not really sharing much about my personal life. Once you start to reveal another side of you, i feel your online image starts to shred and people start to look at you in a different way. That is something i want to avoid. I dont want to be seen as THAT girl. Im human and i have an addiction that im dealing with and thats simply it. 

So thats why i feel that there isnt much awareness about Self harm online. If everyone else, like me keeps this dark side always hidden and never talking about it, then where and how will we ever get better?

I’ve met the most beautiful of beautiful people covered in scars and it breaks my heart thinking its such a hidden topic. More needs to be done to deal with it and a lot more conversations about self harm need to happen!

I think one important point to take away is not to put yourself really down afterwards. I have permanent scars but i look at them and i feel proud. It reminds me of the struggle i went through and i treat them as if they’re battle scars. One day in the future, if i hopefully get rid of this addiction i’ll look at my scars and remember the person i used to be.

If you suspect anyone who may be struggling with this, then please share this post with them. It would mean the world to me knowing ive helped someone‚̧. As always, if you need someone to talk to im always free for a chat and will do my best to help

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x