My Vanity Femme Seminar experience

Hey my loves, I finally get to talk about my makeup seminar experience with the popular beauty blogger on Instagram, Vanity Femme. In no way is this a hate post or a post about me complaining, its rather an expression and a story of how disappointed and let down I felt and how I still feel for putting my trust and admiration into someone online

Why I went to the seminar

To give you guys an idea of why I reacted so deeply about this situation im going to be talking about why I went. The tickets went live on her instagram page late summer last year and it was around this time where I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in beauty. I knew I had the passion, the willingness to learn but I just didn’t how to get started. I was thinking of setting up a beauty page with reviews as I thought a blog would be complicated (lol @ at how naïve I was) but I was still skeptical and scared of taking the plunge. I didn’t really have much contact with influencer’s/makeup artists/ or bloggers who could give me tips in starting out so Mariyah (Vanity Femme) offering an intimate class giving her advice on how she got started was just perfect for me. I also had the intention of observing and networking with the other students, finding out how they started, the challenges they faced and where they want to be at in the future. So the intention wasn’t to learn about makeup, it was to network, meet new people talk about their experiences in a massive industry that I was so scared to step into, and of course meet Mariyah herself. An influencer I admired so much. I didn’t care much about the “controversies” and stories she was involved in, i just looked up to her as a woman, an influencer and a business woman and i think she’s absolutely stunning

The event itself

Looking back i would give the event a 6/10. The content and technique’s she taught was information i knew already but it was a great experience seeing makeup applied in front of you and seeing the transformation without the lighting or super speed that im so used to seeing on online. I immediately warmed up to her I thought she was lovely and answered every weird question i had because i wanted to absorb as much information as i could.

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So you’re probably wondering what’s the problem. The goody bag was the problem. All students were promised her collection of glow dusts and her eyelashes. On the day of the event we took home the glow dusts because the eyelashes were low in stock, so she said we’ll be getting the lashes in a week’s time.

2 weeks later. No lashes. 2 months later. No lashes. Last December after waiting endlessly for her to reply to my emails, i commented, “if anyone attended the Birmingham seminar please DM me” under her picture on Instagram, as i thought maybe it’s just me she has trouble sending the products out to. I then got blocked. As someone who has never got blocked by someone my naïve little mind thought she deleted her page. But it quickly came apparent that she saw my comment and blocked me. I cant express how let down and hurt i felt by someone i admired and even loved so much that she cut me off so abruptly without thinking how i would feel. And that’s where major influencer’s get it wrong. Maybe they don’t realise that their vast number of followers on their page are actually people with feelings and maybe they have a bigger impact on people than they realise.

I gave up after that. I was still really hurt, not over the lashes but over how the first beauty influencer i met, the first makeup artist i met, the first look i had into this industry resulted in such a hurtful negative experience. I deleted my instagram soon after because it made me feel so low and i thought what’s the point of coming into this industry if i get treated like this? Also her customer service team is appalling, i don’t understand how you could ignore so many emails when that is your only job to do. It baffles me.

Fast forward to summer this year, Mariyah herself sent an email out to her students…

 

 

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To be honest, i was quite glad that she was resolving the issue by logging into her email 7 months later and reading all of our emails, some of which called her a scammer. It was good that she acknowledged that her customer service team is actually awful by not communicating with the brand owner and sending out pretty basic certificates using the Word page design template we all used in primary school. However, reading that i became a little hopeful again.

Its December, and the lashes are nowhere to be seen and probably wont be. Some of her attendees from her other seminar’s  that took place earlier than the one in Birmingham have the same problem with the same product’s, and we’ve all pretty much given up at this point. I called her a shitty businesswoman in one of my emails and i stand by that 100%

If i was in her place, a brand owner and influencer. Firstly i would have an awareness or a sort of appreciation of who follows me and understand my impact upon my audience. Then i would fire the customer service team and handle all that myself and make sure everyone’s satisfied. I also wouldn’t have lied and led my students on month after month and just be honest and say. “im sorry but its not possible for me to give you the lashes, but here’s how im going to make up for it for making you wait all this time”. I would’ve created some sort of buy one lash get the other half price or for free, or a discount code just for the student’s who attended. Lying and deceiving your students, some of which may be loyal supporters is not the way to do business and i hope she learns that from this experience.

If you guys are wanting to attend a makeup seminar, i wouldn’t recommend going to a Vanity Femme one if she decides to hold any in the future, simply because its unreliable and straight up unprofessional.  I would recommend attending a seminar from someone the likes of @makeupbymario who is having his Masterclass in London next April. @soniaxfyza held an small seminar in November and so many celebrity makeup artists hold seminar’s across the UK so i would definitely keep an eye out and attend!

To wrap up this post, I don’t hate Mariyah, i just don’t agree with how she runs her business and i think she could have made this into a more positive experience if she just put some effort in. Although she has blocked me, i still view her profile from my sister’s phone, watch her YouTube tutorials and even have screenshots of her makeup because i still admire her skill and style. Overall, it was a lesson to perhaps not to put my trust into people so quickly, and that not every influencer treats their followers the same, as through this blogging journey I’ve met the most beautiful, good hearted sincere souls!

Hope you enjoyed reading this experience, see you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

 

 

How to handle your finances!

Its September. In other words, millions of students are anxiously waiting for that student finance text to drop and the wave of ecstasy afterwards seeing  2 digits to a nice old 4. If you struggle with handling your money, wondering where your paycheck flew off to, or a shopaholic student then this post is for you, because if anyone knows the despair of bankruptcy ITS ME!

Now i’ve been trying to figure out how to budget and being aware of where my money is going. I’ve had lectures from parents, ive read countless blogs and youtube videos but through my experience of working full time and now being a student i feel i have a taste of both worlds to figure out what budget plan works for me and to share some of my tips that i hope you find useful.

Working out a budget plan

Over the summer, I’ve had to completely stop my excessive spending and focus on bare necessities, and this meant I had to ignore every sale, every email, every special offer and it made me realise how much promotional material we’re exposed to every day. Its crazy. In one day I must have received about 10 to 20 emails from different beauty/clothing/footwear brands clawing at my purse and we’re exposed to that every single day. Fear not, there’s a solution.

A monthly budget plan is your new bestie from now on. It must sound a little overwhelming and something you would do when you have kids and a mortgage to consider, but a budget plan makes it clear what your spending on and how much you need to save, (which really is going to benefit you in the long run). Its not a long list of decimals and pie charts and diagrams (I’ve left that in school thank you very much). I’m going to tell you guys how I’ve drew up my budget plan, based on my spending habits, my social life (LOL) and my expenses. I can proudly say I don’t own a single designer item and I don’t really see the point of fine dining. Therefore, your budget plan needs to consider YOUR expenses and likes.

I’ve written down my budget plan both in my diary and my phone and I’ve memorised it a million times so I stick to it (if only I sticked to it in first year!). Taking into my loan from student finance into consideration and money from my part time ish job, I’ve set aside £100 for every category to spend on every month. I’ve set aside money for savings and money for expenses I need to cover too. For example, my blogging expenses, the odd food shopping and bill. I’ve also calculated how much I would have left at the end of each month if I were to spend £100 on a category, for example makeup (This is a maximum amount that i probably wont go over but if I were to go over, I would cut back the next month).

You can go down or increase it, but it has to be a set amount so you can control exactly how much you pay for categories like food, clothing, travel etc. Keep a set amount for each category every month. It also helps to plan what you will buy over the next few months so you can keep track. For example I’ve planned out key items I need to get, keeping in with my monthly £100 budget. With a category like food, it really depends how many times you go out to eat and its difficult to keep track of it, so its something you have to consider. Learning how to cook a little, reward cards to save some money by earning points and packed lunches here and there are a great way to cut back on eating out all the time.

Also, another little trick I’ve learnt is to always have cash on you. I feel like whenever I pay for something, using cash and physically handing it over, it registers as more important in my mind than using my card. It might sound crazy but I feel like I’ve actually spent money when I’ve given notes to someone. That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t set up contactless, I would be swiping my account away one Selfridges at a time.

Budgeting may sound impossible especially in a time where breathing is expensive, but it can be done by growing up a bit and recognising your wants and needs. For example, i havent experienced living on my own yet but if you are, then you need to recognise how much money you have coming in, work out exactly what you need to pay for and still have enough for personal use. Its only possible with a clear budget.

 

Financing for makeup artists, beauty bloggers

Knowing how to control your expenses when your a beauty blogger or a makeup artist is so so important. I completely understand the struggle scrolling through a makeup fanatic’s feed seeing highlighters cover their entire floor and thinking I need it all.

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NO YOU DONT!

In fact one of the reasons I was skeptical of blogging was thinking i needed every lipstick, every foundation, every limited edition, every brand and showcase it to the point where i have to live off peanuts. No girl. You don’t know someone’s situation behind your phone screen. They could be the most broke person on the planet, they could be working day and night or they could be quite well off. My point is, if its wanting to make you buy unnecessary things, then take a step back, breathe and think about how it will affect your budget.

The beauty of beauty blogging is that there’s so many of us so we all don’t need to have exactly the same products and tastes, so you don’t have to feel pressured in owning everything. Remember, you have a life and commitments outside of blogging too. For makeup artists and aspiring artists I would give the same advice. Its the quality and skill of your work that determines your demand from clients and not your kit. You could have 15 high end palettes but if you cant blend out eye shadow, I’m not booking you girl. So don’t feel pressured, building a freelance kit takes time. I’ll be posting advice soon for aspiring makeup artists and bloggers so STAY TUNED!

To wrap up this insanely long post, figure out what you spend most on, keep to a set amount, don’t ignore necessary expenses and keep checking your account. Small little shocks along the way is better than one huge depressing blow to the face. And finally dont worry too much, once you’ve worked out your expenses and your keeping in line with a budget then life’s good!

Hope this helped, See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x

 

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Self harm

Hey my loves, the topic of Self harm is a very personal sensitive one, and i pray who ever is going through this comes across this post and thinks again before doing it. I wont be an agony aunt telling you to stop, and think that your stupid for harming yourself, but instead i want to reassure and remind you that you’re not alone.

I have come across so many people who self harm its crazy, i knew i wasnt alone but i just didnt realise so many people had this problem. Now i know for a fact, that if you self harm and you explain yourself to another person who doesnt self harm, they will 100% not understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been called stupid, a lowlife, attention seeker, weirdo, emo, the list goes on. But my family and friends who have tried to help me and i really appreciate their efforts,  they just dont get it. Only someone who self harms will understand someone else who does the same. It’s a fact.

I came across someone on Twitter who put up pictures of his scars, and there were some horrible comments that probably pushed him further and further. I messaged him asking if he was okay, and i have to say talking to someone else who self harms is so eye opening, its a strange feeling of coming together through pain.

If i was to describe the process of coming about self harm, it would be really difficult but im going to describe it as best as i can from what i feel. When im in a personal crisis that i cant deal with, i get angry really quickly, my anger is unbelievable. Through frustration, because i dont want to get violent or destroy anything, i take it upon myself by cutting. It releases all my anger and pain away from me and onto something else; my skin. Its not always anger, sometimes its a deep sadness, it used to come from feeling worthless and a form of punishing myself, so it happens because of these emotions or sometimes all at once.

So if im in a crisis, i have a lot of pent up anger in me and i reach for my weapon. In this moment in time, im overcome by this sort of inner demon, my dark side,  its a darkness and the person who i was lets say 3 days ago, is not there, she’s vanished. Im completely overcome by this deep dark shadow over me and it wont go unless i cut. I’ve tried resisting it by drawing on myself, going for a relaxing bath even, scratching myself, but the urges are so strong, so intense that its impossible to think of anything else other than the sensation of cutting and seeing blood on my skin. It sounds scary but i have checked for posession a couple of times so its safe to say it really is my dark side. Its an addiction. And like an addict, its really tough to get out of.

I’ve been self harming for about 7 years now, so its an addiction im struggling with. Everytime im in a crisis, i would rather take it out on me physically, rather than dealing with it emotionally. So i cut, cry and let it out of my system and then im back to normal Sahibah. After i cut, its a sigh of relief, its not exactly happiness but its a little joy knowing ive dealt with it and i’ll be okay soon. Its my inner demon smiling. I know it sounds a little deranged and creepy as hell but thats how it is for me. This is raw, real, self harm. A couple of hours later, the regret kicks in. The demonic, dark trance i was in is gone and normal Sahibah re appears again looking at herself in the mirror thinking, “man i really need to throw that knife away”. You cant shower for a while, you cant move whatever body part you cut, you always have to cover up and hide yourself and it hurts like a bitch. But you have to live and deal with the decision you made.

So thats the process for me, from thinking about cutting to covering up at the end. I have reached out for help and im so proud to say i’ve been self harm free for 6 months! The thing to remember is that you dont have to fall in a spriral of addiction like me, there are people willing to help.

  • Talk to your GP–  When you visit your GP you might discover that your self harm is a sign of a disorder that you need help with for example, depression or anxiety. Getting help as early as you can will help to minimise negative long term effects. You might also need injury treatment as everyone uses different ways to self harm, its not always a knife.
  • Reach out to Self harm organisations/charities– Please make use of these, if you feel like you need to talk to someone new about your issues, or you need urgent help. These organisations are dedicated to helping people who suffer from self harm so please reach out. I cant stress how important it is to let your anger/frustration/sadness whatever it is you feel out in ANOTHER WAY, so please have a read through these websites, read their blogs and give them a call and i 100% promise you, you will get the help you need.
  • http://www.selfharm.co.uk
  • http://www.youngminds.org.uk/self-harm
  • http://www.mind.org.uk
  • Distract yourself – What helped me was to channel my anger out in another way and to not reach for my knife. Believe it or not, i took up boxing for a short time and breaking small things like a pen or tearing up paper, anything to take my mind away from cutting.

This is a very difficult topic for me to talk about. Its something i really dont like sharing, its my dark little secret that i keep to myself. I’ve always kept my online image in control, and not really sharing much about my personal life. Once you start to reveal another side of you, i feel your online image starts to shred and people start to look at you in a different way. That is something i want to avoid. I dont want to be seen as THAT girl. Im human and i have an addiction that im dealing with and thats simply it. 

So thats why i feel that there isnt much awareness about Self harm online. If everyone else, like me keeps this dark side always hidden and never talking about it, then where and how will we ever get better?

I’ve met the most beautiful of beautiful people covered in scars and it breaks my heart thinking its such a hidden topic. More needs to be done to deal with it and a lot more conversations about self harm need to happen!

I think one important point to take away is not to put yourself really down afterwards. I have permanent scars but i look at them and i feel proud. It reminds me of the struggle i went through and i treat them as if they’re battle scars. One day in the future, if i hopefully get rid of this addiction i’ll look at my scars and remember the person i used to be.

If you suspect anyone who may be struggling with this, then please share this post with them. It would mean the world to me knowing ive helped someone❤. As always, if you need someone to talk to im always free for a chat and will do my best to help

See you in my next post!

Love from Sahibah x